Don't do anything you don't want to repeat (advice for new parents)
Don't do anything you don't want to repeat (advice for new parents)
As the date approached for me to become a father I binged parenting advice. This was the most useful piece advice I found.
“Don't do anything you don't want to repeat” is an approximation of the line of advice I came across. It was paired with examples ranging from responding to performative crying and using a pacifier.
It’s not a phrase you can apply without judgement - there's situations where responding to crying, performative or not, makes sense. Pacifiers too have their place and we used them with success.
But these scenarios are some of many where providing the same response will help reinforce a potentially negative or at very least laborious and redundant behaviour.
Responses to performative crying can incentivise more crying as it results in attention or other rewards such as food or other soothing rewards.
Always fulfilling requests for the pacifier can perpetuate use of the pacifier. And so on.
Again, this is not to say never or always - this requires application of judgement. But to consider this as you make a choice can help shift the balance away from the very tempting short term fix.
So too in the workplace we must find perspectives which help remind us that short term choices can lead to experiences that repeat.
I don't mean in terms of people or infantilisation or anything of that nature. I simply mean in terms of your own decision making.
Some examples relevant to software product development:
Skipping steps important for quality will lead to poor quality.
Always prioritising features over all else will set an expectation that this is where most time should be spent.
The more you look, the more you find examples.
The next time such an example presents itself, which choice will you make?
As a new father this is refreshing and very real advice.